Why We Quit Dance Team

As I sit down to write this post, I have a million things to do today in preparation to send my two oldest off to Maine for the next two weeks...they leave today.  But what is sticking in my mind about sending them off...particularly Tyler Bree...is that she'll be missing dance auditions next week.

On purpose.

You see, we (as in me, Blake, and Tyler Bree) made a conscious decision to not do company this year...which, as one can imagine, was a heart wrenching decision, especially coming off a year that her team won Nationals.  But it is what is best for our family.  I haven't felt the need to explain or go into much detail to other moms/families about our reasons "why" we made this choice...mainly because some don't comprehend why we wouldn't want our daughter to continue something in which she loves and excels. 

But today, however, I think I do want to explain our decision at bit...just in case other families are thinking/feeling/experiencing something similar.  This is how we dealt with it...

In our faith and how we live the gospel, we try our very best to obey all God's commandments.  Not the ones that are convenient or the ones we have a strong conviction about...but ALL of them.  We often fall short (and know that everyone is in a different place in their life/faith/testimony/etc), but one commandment we know we can improve upon is "keeping the Sabbath Day holy".  We do our best to keep Sunday as the Lord's day...to show to Him our love through what we do on the day we've been commanded to treat as holy.  In trying to teach our kids how to live this commandment, they've inevitably pointed out how we aren't doing it as well as we should.  Kids seem to be annoyingly good at that...which kinda makes me proud at the same time.  ;)  They are totally right.

So last year, as we had several competitions and practices on Sundays, my kids brought it up to me and Blake asking if it's okay to do these "other" things on a Sunday...especially when what we're teaching them said otherwise.  It's not about dance competitions...dance is great, our studio is great, and dance is a beautiful and worthwhile activity.  But in my gut...I knew it was good, and maybe even better than lots of things we could be doing on Sundays...but not the absolute best.  I knew that if anything, my kids will do what I do before they do what I say, and I don't ever want to leave any doubt in their minds as to what I believe and how I live the gospel.  (And if I'm being totally honest, this actually had been weighing on my mind for a long while...we just didn't take action on it because she was part of a team that depended on her...which was another lesson to teach, that when you're part of a team, you have to do your part 100%.)

We prayed about the decision we had to make.  On one hand, Tyler Bree loves dance and she's good at it.  How could we quit something that she enjoys and benefits from?  And on the other hand, we knew dance was not the last thing that will come our way in terms of extracurriculars on Sundays.  There will always be games, activities, practices, you name it.  We know this and expect it.  It will be something we deal with throughout raising our children.  But when it came down to it, we knew our family could do better in keeping the Sabbath in the way we had set out to do, which made the decision clear.

In the end, we decided she wasn't going to do team this next year...BUT, she is doing a solo which we are SUPER excited about.  She'll still take dance classes and compete with her solo, so we feel she's still able to do what she loves.  It's a compromise she (and we) were willing to make.  There's one quote I love and it's a great reminder and check of how we are keeping the Sabbath:

"The way we keep the Sabbath Day holy is an outward manifestation of our covenant to always remember Jesus Christ."  -Larry M. Gibson 

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

So as I mentioned, Tyler Bree's team won Nationals!!!!!!!  It was bananas!  Her team's jazz routine won 1st place (video below) and the entire company's production routine won 1st place.  I, unfortunately, wasn't able to be there for the finals, but Blake was and said it was amazing!  I'm SO proud of their team and all of their hard work.  Her little team this year was something special...I don't know if there will ever be another team like it.  Such sweet girls, great families, and LOTS of talent and sass!  We feel so blessed to have been part of an incredible group and will cherish the memories for year to come!

Seriously...check out those trophies.  I mean.

And one more thing...
Lest it be misconstrued in the least bit, we have only good and grateful feelings about lessons this decision making experience has afforded our family.  We understand our own beliefs are not necessarily those of others, and strive to not create any sense of judgement with our children.  We respect everyone and the choices they make.  I hope you have a wonderful weekend friends!

Dance Recital Diaries

After a whirlwind of a week, I'm thankfully able to breathe a bit before the next round of craziness starts.  Recital week went off without a hitch, mostly thanks to my mom and Blake, as I was having to split time between it and a church youth conference.
Being the crazy time that it was, I really wasn't able to catch many photos of the girls, but thankfully I snapped some at Riley's dress rehearsal.  She only had one routine (acro), while Tyler Bree performed multiple dances in in 6 recitals.  If that sounds nuts, it is...but what I've learned is that recital is pretty chill compared to the madness of quick competition changes and the stress that accompanies performance expectations.  So really, our schedule may have been busy, but the time I was able to be at the recitals was quite enjoyable.
We still have Nationals coming up in July...there's really no off-season.  And now, 8 years into this dance thing and 2 years into competitive dance, the momma who wrote this post is now almost unrecognizable. 
Almost.

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Hashtag Happenings

Having some hashtag fun today....Who says they're only for social media?

I'm a little embarrassed to say, but I "think" in hashtags more often than I'd like to admit.  It's like the stuff you want to say, but don't....RIGHT?  RIGHT???

#tellmeimnotcrazy

^^^ Little B wasn't having it with the pre-church pic his momma so desperately wanted. ^^^

#rageagainstthebowtie

^^^ At Tyler Bree's dance competition last weekend...I always wait until the last minute and then remember I've taken zero pictures.  Please note the dance mom tshirt I'm sporting....Evidently I've crossed over. ^^^

#whoami?

#lavishleathers

^^^ I plan to literally lock my kids outside this summer, so I'm conditioning these two early.  I want my kids to use their imagination, get dirty, be bored...and all those other things I did in my own childhood.  OUTDOORS.  Clearly, their getting right on it. ^^^

#lazykids

#pleasedontcallCPS

^^^ Seriously, the duck face??? ^^^ #kidsthesedays

^^^ The obligatory stop at the American Girl store while we were in Houston for Spring Break. ^^^ #MoneyPit #Racket #AGfanclubbers

P.S.  What if Joey from "Friends" had an Instagram  (there's a Ross one too!)



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Fist Pump Friday 3.27.15

Happy Friday Y'all!  Here's what I'm fist-pumping about this week...

1.  Over the past few weeks, I've been in earring heaven.  A new local designer just released a chic line of leather earrings, and I'm completely smitten.  The shop is called Lavish Leathers and her designs can be found on their website HERE, or you can check out some I've worn here on the blog...such as these lovely turquoise ones or the gold and pink ones from this post...also, upcoming designs were recently teased on their Facebook page!  Can you tell I'm a fan!?!
2.  Stay tuned to my Instagram this weekend, as we have Tyler Bree's first dance competition of the season (Remember the "All About One Child" post?  Yep, still in full effect) and I will have officially arrived as a dance mom.  You'll see what I'm talking about.  I'm a full-blown, t-shirt wearing, rhinestoning, hair-spraying, hard core dance mom...pulling along something I never thought I'd ever purchase behind me....and I'm loving it.  Mostly.  ;)
3.  Exactly two weeks from today we leave for our road trip to Florida for our Disney Cruise!  Having gone on one before, we pretty much know what to expect, but I could definitely use any pointers or tips you seasoned cruisers might have to impart on me.  What packing items are a MUST for you when cruising???

Outfit details: top and pants:  c/o CAbi // Pebble Pant and U-neck Tee jean jacket:  Gap wedges:  Toms via Nordstrom bag:  Michael Kors Jet Set Tote earrings: c/o Lavish Leathers sunnies:  Old Navy necklace:  Rocksbox // use code MRSANDMOMMAXOXO for a free month!

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When Life Revolves Around ONE Child

I'm not sure if this is something large families experience occasionally, or if we're just not doing that great of a job making things equal between our kids...but either way, life lately has seemed to revolve around only one of our four children.  It's been the Tyler Bree show for quite some time, and I'm highly aware of the demands it has placed on our other three children.  From less sleep, to waiting in cars, to less attention from me and Blake...it has been taxing on them and it's just not fair.

^^^ San Antonio Stock Show this past weekend ^^^

This time of year, competition season is just beginning, stock show season is still in full swing, and homeschooling her is a constant presence in the Jansen Family.  We are busy with Tyler Bree stuff to the max.

^^^ Dress rehearsal last weekend ^^^

^^^ Rhinestoning for days...literally. ^^^

^^^ Getting ready for tap rehearsal. ^^^

Being the oldest sibling in my family, I don't remember having to sit through many of my brother's baseball games or extracurricular activities...but I see it often in other families and I know it's just the nature of things...or is it?  Why do I feel so guilty about the three younger ones "sitting on the sidelines" while Tyler Bree does her thing?  I know in reality she's the oldest, therefore, has more opportunities coming her way that the younger ones just aren't yet old enough for (which I'm sure will come soon enough)....But then I ask myself, what could we as parents be doing better right now? 
Should I ask someone to watch my kids rather than having them sit in the car waiting for an hour or driving to and fro? (Well no, because we are actually spending time together.)
Should I get them involved in more things so they can have their "moments"? (We're already so busy.)
Should I homeschool all the kids so we have more time for other things during the day? (shudder.)
Should we cut out one of her activities? (No, that's not fair to her either.)

I don't have the answers to these questions (yet), but I do know I want to continually be aware of the extracurricular demands placed on all of my children, whether they're influenced directly or not.  This is just the beginning...I know that.  My kids are still young and I probably have no clue what "busy" will look like once all four are involved in this and that.  But I do want to make sure I'm super vigilant in protecting their time, feelings, and well-being when it comes to "supporting" their siblings when it may not be their turn to shine.
In my own personal reflection of "busy-ness", I know I need to cut out some things.  As women, I think I know we stretch ourselves too thin, say yes too often, get our hands in everything we think we can help with, etc.  Even so, realizing that we do this is not enough.  Taking action and eliminating some unnecessary obligations (for me at least) is truly the way to prioritize my family, the gospel, and other relationships first.  Not too long ago I made a priority list and numbered them in order.  I love to refer back to it when I much need a reminder to put first things first.  I challenge you to do the same if you haven't already....sometimes we think our priorities are clear, but when we actually put them to paper, it can be surprising!
Momma poll:  How do you handle this kind of mom guilt when one kid's activities take "center stage"? 




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Just Dance

^^^ Disclaimer: My irises are nowhere near that bright blue...shout out to you, Amaro filter. ^^^

This year dance auditions were different.  Even though they only happened four days ago, the difference began at the start of summer.  As we wrapped up last year's competition season (in July at Nationals), several thoughts went through my head...none of which, mind you, I shared with Tyler Bree.  They went something like this:

-Wow, this first year of Tyler Bree on team was a whole new world to me.  It's a lot of money, a lot of time, etc...is this going to be her "thing"???  If it isn't, there isn't much time left in her schedule to explore her other talents/skills.

-Auditions are only a month and half away.  What if Tyler Bree thinks this is all for fun and doesn't work hard to improve for next year?  What if my uber-competitive streak didn't get passed onto her? (the jury is still out.)

-How hard do I push her?  I didn't push much last year, but heck, if we're going to be shelling out this much money and time, we need to be "all in" and some pushing/motivating/encouraging needs to take place.  But she's only (almost) nine years old.

-As long as she says she loves it and wants to audition, then I'm totally behind her.  I'm love watching her dance...

but what if, what if, what if....you get the picture.

So this summer I've pushed some.  Not much...just reminders to practice and stretch...and some remarks here and there about setting a goal for making team and what dedication and hard work look like at her level/age, you know...trying to be a good parent and stuff (which was met with luke-warm response at best, flat out refusal to practice at worst).  She also took several private lessons to help with some of her technique, as well as watched youtube how-to's on specific skills.  I was skeptical how it would be come audition week...would she dig in her heels at the first hint of my "get your booty in gear" pep talk?

Cut to last Thursday night when she and about 50-something other little girls learned the three dances with which they were to audition on Saturday.  Under two days to attempt to master three dances...no small feat.  Pressure was on...mainly just on me.  And when I say pressure, I really mean worry.

All day Friday I started, restarted, and started again her music as she practiced each dance over and over in our vacant upstairs playroom.  I knew then I was walking a fine line.  I had to find the balance of encouragement and motivation, while actively critiquing her dancing.  Not only did I wish NOT to put unnecessary pressure on Tyler Bree (both because of her age and her sensitive personality), but I wanted her to have fun AND know that we were proud of her hard work no matter the outcome.

Key word:  HARD WORK.  That's all I was asking from her.

And let me tell you what.  To my surprise, this girl delivered.

Not one time did she complain or tell me she was "done"...even though I could see the fatigue in her eyes.  I truly did not know if she had it in her (it pains me a bit to say that, but I'm being truthful), which made the day of auditions even sweeter.

I've written here before that I'm pretty much the furthest thing from the typical "dance mom"...which is why if you know me and/or have read my "worst dance mom" posts, I would have been unrecognizable to you last Saturday. I had to reign. it. in.  People...the crazy wanted to come out.
Never (to date) in my mothering of four have I felt this for one of my children...pure, acute, crazy nervousness.  She was calm and collected each time I watched her wave to me then disappear into the audition room, while I was left a  pacing wreck who couldn't hold a legit conversation with a fellow in-waiting dance mom, until she came back out (closed auditions).  I kept asking myself "what changed?"..."why am I being like this?"..."I'm the worst dance mom ever, remember?"
And then it hit me.  I desperately wanted my sweet, innocent, and naive daughter to have a rewarding experience...one that would teach her a lesson about hard work and dedication and goal-setting.  One that would boost her fragile self-confidence.  And one that would, at the most basic level, make her happy.  There will most certainly come times in her life where hard work does not pay off....but I prayed that time could be some day in the future...not now.  Not this first "big" thing to her.
Who knows what the future holds with Tyler Bree's dance talents.  It's not that important.  What is important are the lessons learned and memories made last weekend, on both hers and my part.  I will never forget Blake and I waking her up in the middle of the night to tell her she made the team she had been shooting for...thankfully, we had the presence of mind to video her groggy excitement.  She was so very proud of her accomplishment and I was filled with gratitude that our prayers were answered.  In the big scheme of things, I know making dance team is pretty trivial...but I hope Tyler Bree will be able to draw from this experience with future tests and trials in her life when things don't come easy.
And I never thought I'd say this, but you'll never guess what...
Those huge, obnoxious rolling dressing room/studio, clothing rack thing-a-ma-jigs that only real dance moms have are actually looking pretty nifty right about now.
Seriously...who AM I? #dancemomthatswho #smh



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Camel & Black Is Where It's At

Outfit details:  Anthropologie jacket // Bebe pencil skirt // Kork-Ease wedges (my fave) // Madewell tote // Bon-Look Honeybadger glasses // Monogram necklace c/o Personalized From Me to You

Happy Monday, friends! ^^^ What I wore to church yesterday...I think camel and black are the perfect neutral combo.  It's so against my upbringing.  And p.s. my new loves have pretty much NOT left my feet since arrival in my mailbox. ^^^
I feel both renewed and run-over this morning. Renewed by the way of dance auditions being over and done with...stressful to say the least.  I want to devote a full post to what kind of experience Tyler Bree and I had this past weekend (where I asked myself multiple time, "who AM I???"...apparently a dance mom, that's who.)
And run-over because man, I've got to get it together.  I've been getting plenty of sleep but wake to feel completely out of energy, sluggish, etc.  I know why, too.  After I came back from BlogHer, I never resumed my running regiment.  I had just gotten back into to it, so it shouldn't be too hard to catch up...only if I could only pull myself out of bed.  Zzzzzzzz.  Exercise is part of the answer.  And maybe something else too in the form of supplements, etc. I know there's Plexus and Spark out there...anyone use those or have other suggestions???
This week I'll also be sharing the first of two DIY home improvement projects (we finished last night).  I'm super excited about them and can't wait to share with you!!!!
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Dancing Queen

This past weekend Tyler Bree had her dance recital.  She still has a national competition in July, but this was the end of the dance year so to speak.  Being on team, she had to perform in two back-to-back recitals...which meant a LONG day for all of us...especially her three younger siblings.  I'm sure it won't be the last time they have to sit through 5 straight hours of dancing. There will come a day when she has to sit through Bennett's baseball games...he'll have his pay back then...ten-fold.

Well, earlier last week, her dance studio had the genius idea of doing a "showcase" performance of just the teams...a perfect opportunity for grandparents and other family to see a her dance without having to sit through an entire recital.  AND this was my opportunity to get some great action shots of her on stage, because competitions don't allow photography so this was my first chance!  Wouldn't you know I completely forgot my camera and didn't even think to use my phone...ugh.  I can go a bit overboard sometimes with the pictures (shocking, I know), so I guess you can say I was just living in the moment...a very proud momma moment. But still.
So to sort of make up for my lack of foresight at the showcase, I took quite a few of her between routines at recital.  And I just might have had ulterior motives for getting some of these smiling shots, as she gets braces this Thursday.  Bananas.

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How NOT To Be the Worst Dance Mom Ever

Last weekend was Tyler Bree's first dance competition of the year.  We've done "pre-team" competitions in years prior, but this was the first real deal.  She did great and loved it...thankfully.  We have another one this weekend in San Antonio and then some more coming up in a few weeks.  So basically, I'll be a pro at ballerina buns, false eyelashes, and quick changes come summer.

I've never seen the show "Dance Moms", but I have a feeling that the reality I witness at these competitions are not far from what they portray on the show...meaning, they keep it real.  Aside from kniving moms (which I'm sure there are some, just not on our team), being a dance mom is not for the faint of heart.  It kicks my butt.

Not even kidding.

So you might be wondering, what on Earth could be so challenging about being a little ol' dance mom...how could it possibly be anything but cheers and smiles and "Break a leg, Honey!" you might ask...

Well.  There are some seasoned dance mom pros out there, and you better believe I've taken notice.  I've also noticed I have very little dance mom in me.  I know I've claimed to be the worse dance mom ever, but hear me out...that title would be tough to beat if you really knew how this Jansen show runs.  So in my observations last weekend, I came up with a little list of what it would take to up my status from worst dance mom to mediocre dance mom, or dare I say, a pretty good dance mom.
Here's what I've come up with...fellow worst dance moms, take note if you will.
How NOT to be the Worst Dance Mom Ever:
1.  You MUST invest in a rolling makeup, dancewear, and dressingroom studio thingy-ma-jig.  If you've seen one of these, then you'll know I'm not exaggerating in the least.  These babies are equiped with any and everything a dance mom could/would need, including no less than 5 sets of false lashes, liquid hair cement, and an emergency kit to take on any dance fiasco.  Nowhere for your daughter to change?  No worries...just pop up the clothes rack with your shower curtain attached and viola...privacy for your tiny dancer.  Fumbling around a silly bag for bobby pins, safety pins, makeup, and every other dance necessity is just absurd...it should be right at your organzied fingertips in your very own embroidered dance studio on wheels. (I used a small Vera Bradley tote...I didn't even get Tyler Bree a team duffle bag.  The shame!)
2.  Plain street clothes are simply unacceptable.  A true dance mom not only purchases a team shirt explicitly displaying whose mom she is (i.e. Tyler Bree's Mom), but it MUST be emblazzonedly bedazzeled as well.  I sure missed the boat on that one. (I litterally was the ONLY mom without a team mom shirt.  Still holding up that worst mom title with flying colors.)
3.  Dance moms are killer selfie takers.  Okay, so maybe I'm not so bad at this one.  When it's just you and your little performer, who else is going to document all of the fabulousness???

4.  A dance mom must be resourceful and creative...and fully committed.  Last weekend, the team had a super fast costume change and one of the stellar dance moms gave me the genius idea of LAYERING TIGHTS.  Whaaat?  This was life changing to my little dance mom world.  To truly come up with such inventive ideas, you have to fully commit to the dance mom psyche.  A dance mom can't afford to merely contemplate dance a few hours prior (like yours truly)...nope.  It must be a constant stream of dance consciousness...to be ready and able at any moment with a non-makeup-smearing-pre-performance snack or to re-glue wayward rhinestones.  And you never do know when your daughter's tap costume might go missing....yeah, we never did find it.  True story.
5.  And finally, the truest test of dance mom grit is the ability to withstand tears.  Tears due to hair fixing, thirst, hunger, fabricated ailments, lost earrings, fatigue, and most importantly (albeit rarely), tears of other moms.  One must be immune to such pulls of emotions and stay strong.  Dancers can sense a faltering dance mom...they'll turn on those tears at the slightest sign of weakness.  The new dance mom motto should be, "There's NO crying in Dancing!" (I'd like for it be noted here by the National Dance Mom Association that my daughter, who I was positive would be a sure fire melt down candidate because of the quick costume change, did in fact NOT squirt a single tear last weekend.  And that, my friends, was a dance miracle.)
Fellow dance moms...did I miss anything???
Signed, I have a long ways to go #dancemom

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I'll Tell You What's Going On

1.  Tomorrow I'll be attending the grand opening of the new Sees Candy here in Austin!  I am SUPER pumped about this and about my "plus one" date, who's a Sees fanatic.  I'm thrilled to take her along to experience the new store first hand!

2.  Tyler Bree's first dance competition of the year is this weekend and there's a couple of things that are causing me anxiety.  One, I CANNOT find her tap costume pants.  Anywhere.  I've searched and prayed and searched some more, but no one has any clue to where they might be.  This might not seem like a big deal to you, but I assure you it's huge.  Pray for me to find these, please. Second, to allow the older girls to attend prom that night, they scheduled them early in the day and saved the late times for the teeny-weensy eight year olds.  Tyler Bree's last dance is at 10:30pm!  She's going to be exhausted...and that's even with taking a nap!  Dance is going to be the death of me, I just know it.  I'm the worst dance mom ever....but an entire blog post needs to be devoted to that sad fact. 

3.  Last night I let the kids eat dinner outside...for some reason this was magical to them even though it was simply on the front porch.  Riley took charge pouring drinks, assigning "seating arrangements", and acting as maitre'd.  She's a born bossypants leader.  Who knew a little change in scenery could be so much fun!
4.  Riley's birthday is this weekend, so today I'll be getting together Kristoff's ice, Sven's antlers, and Olaf bodies for 8 little girls.  It's going to be a Frozen good time!  Can't wait to share pictures!
5.  Next week, I'm offering 4 mini-session spots in this perfect little field of bluebonnets!  If you're local and would like to schedule, I still have two slots open!  I just love wildflowers in the Spring, don't you?  The bluebonnets are out in full force this year here in Texas!

Tell me, what's going on with you???

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How Much Pressure to Put on Kids? {plus a fab giveaway}

Tyler Bree had dance tryouts over the weekend...this was her first time.  Although she's been dancing for six years, this was the first time she's actually auditioned in front of judges...a closed audition I might ad, so I have no idea how she actually did.  Can you say nerve wracking?!?  She did great (considering), and made the team she wanted!  We were so proud of her hard work, as she had to learn three dances in two days and the choreography was the same as was taught to the "big girls", so needless to say, it was pretty challenging.

It's a tricky situation with kids her age....

I remember being able to put pressure on myself to practice harder and improve, but she has such a different personality than me and I don't think she'll ever get to that point of intense self-motivation...which in turn, makes me the pressure-putter-onner.  read: dance mom.  But this year, being her first, I thought I could save that for a few years down the road when she's matured a bit and can handle it.  There's no need for pressure this time around...I just want her to have fun.

And I'm pretty sure she did.  I'll never forgot that proud, toothless smile when I showed her the email announcing who made the teams...priceless for sure!

*********************
Today I have a special and unique giveaway for you!!!
Kelley from Leefy Not Beefy and the etsy shop Arcadian Designs is giving away some of her one-of-a-kind etsy shop gems!  I'll give you a hint...they smell glorious!!!

"The idea behind my blog was to have a place to keep myself accountable to get fit and healthy.  It has evolved to include posts on faith and fashion as well, and I'm learning that being healthy is a daily decision and not quite as easy as I figured, but I guess if I can do it, anyone can.  I love being able to connect with others through the blogging world, and that's a perk I didn't go into blogging realizing - there are SO many awesome women (and men?) out there, and I learn so much from them.  My shop was something I've wanted to do for many years, and one day I just thought, "Okay, why not?  What's the worst that can happen? So I don't sell anything, I'm no worse off than before I started", and I'm so glad I took the chance and allowed myself to dream.  I love being creative in that way and coming up with different scents and combinations." Kelly is being so generous today and giving away a collection of her original homemade scents (how cool is that?) along with one of her perfume lockets!!!!  I think it's so wonderful to support Etsy shop owners as well as women entrepreneurs....so make sure to give her some love!!!!

You can see all her scent descriptions here....what a dream to be able to hand pick them like that!  And isn't that perfume locket so vintage chic?  I'd be applying perfume all day long!!!!  Ha!  This would be such a great gift as well!  Good luck!!!
a Rafflecopter giveaway