Last weekend, I did a "pig pregnancy photo shoot" (you know, before they get too large, uncomfortable, and their wedding ring doesn't fit anymore) for my husband's show pig website. These mommas have full bellies of piglets that are about ready to come into the world. One sow requested to do a guest blog post today about the ins and outs of a hog photo op.
Take it away, Piggy!
Thanks to Kristen for having me today. I'm a strong advocate for featuring more livestock and show animals on lifestyle blogs these days. The subject matter is just so riveting and it's total eye-candy!
So on this particular day, we start out by squealing our heads off at the sign of a vehicle. This of course means that the humans are here to feed us. That, and we really just use it as an excuse to try and make them go deaf. Charlotte back there is a wannabe escape artist....can you say "photo bomb" much???
"Nom, nom, nom....smack, smack.....nom, nom, smack, sluuuuurp"
Then comes my shining moment to put my humongous belly (and whole body for that matter) on display for the other jealous sows stuck back in the barn. Losers.
At first I'm a little stand-offish because if I'm out of my pin, I need to make sure something's not up. Suspicious. Me and the guy in the blue shorts aren't exactly on friendly terms. So I root around a bit debating whether I should charge this blonde with a black thing attached to her face, who's invading my personal space.
But then I feel the most wonderful thing ever and forget all hostile feelings....
A bath!!!!!! The girls back in the barn won't believe this! I think I can call the human my "friend" now. Not friend...he's my hero! I think I hear something about "getting clean" or whatever, but my mind really can't pay attention to anything else but the water!!!!
After the water, there's really nothing else that would make this day better than to roll in the mud...so I go for it (not pictured), because quite frankly, it's what I'm known for. I'm kind of a big deal.
I realize my genius tactic of post-bath mud rolling scores me another bath!
I have a sneaking suspicion that the human really wants me clean and well behaved, so I resolve to milk this for all I can.
Okay, now I'm ready for my close up.
Um, food please. Now. Right here. Is that caviar? Mmm, thank you. Make sure you get my good side. Should I suck in or let it all hang out? Yeah, you're right...it doesn't matter.
And that, ladies, is how it's done. The makings of a hog-wild pregnancy photo shoot. What preggo doesn't want baths, mud masks, and food? (no raised hands)
Oh, and this hussy thinks she's got it better than me....
Little does she know, I did my business right where she's standing.
And some one should really tell her that her nipples are showing.
Until next time, lovelies. Maybe Kristen will be so kind as to allow my babies some blog time. Because if you ain't seen baby pigs, my friends...you ain't seen cute.
Kristen....you are hilarious. I'm so glad that you let piggy come blog today. Very knowledgeable.ReplyDelete