Family Fishing, Hungry Cows, & Screaming Daughters {Part 2}

So yesterday left off with the fishing part of the excursion wrapping up.  Everyone was in good spirits because of all the fish we caught (and released), as well as our imminent escape of the heat.

Mission Summer Fishing With Four Children in Oppressive Heat:  Completed

However, on our way driving back out, the cows caught on to us.  Again.

As we approached the gate, the cow swarmed us once more.  My husband slowed to a stop, but I yelled at him to keep driving around because we needed time to devise an exit plan.  What kind of plan I did not know.  Just something that would both keep a cow from escaping and keep my kids safe.

At this point in the story, I'd like to mention two things that I feel are relavent:

1.  There are significantly less (okay, actually none) pictures for this...As in contrast to the first part where I found it amusing that my kids were needlessly freaking out, this time I was a little bit too, and snapping pictures didn't have time to cross my mind.

2.  My father-in-law has been flat out run over by a cow, resulting in a serious compound break of his arm.  Granted, the cow was in labor, but still....they're wild animals that wanted to be fed.  And our loud children that don't know the meaning of "no sudden movements" didn't help the strategy of being stealth.


Okay, moving on.

My husband thought I was being silly and drove right up to the gate, got out and walked to open it.  This is where things got chaotic.

The bull singled himself out from the rest of the cows and came closer.  And I mean within arms reach of the Ranger, on which there are no doors, mind you.  He made it clear (to me at least) that he wasn't just sniffing around to see if we had something to eat...he had my number.  His eyes locked with mine and I knew he was telling me we had about 6.5 seconds to get out before he came and ate my first born, who was obliviously climbing all over the Ranger at that point.  Remember...no clue about sudden movements?

I yelled at my husband to hurry up and come take our boy who was once again in a death grip around my neck and face.  More mooing and drawing closer ensued.  This is when my kids started freaking out...as did I.  I hurriedly attempted to get them all within arms length so I could "protect" them.  Uh-huh.  What would I have really done?
Kicked that sucker like the dickens, that's what I would've done!

"Come get him and let me drive the Ranger through the gate!"
"Hurry Up Daddy!!!  He's going to eat us!!!!"
"Daddddyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!"
"MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
"Daddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!"

My husband had just. about. enough.
He turned around and told us all of us to just calm the heck down.
Then I yelled at him for taking the precious, critical time to tell us to calm down and to just get the dang gate open!!!

Then in one swift (and exasperated) movement, he grabbed our boy out of my arms, opened the gate as I slithered into the front seat to speed through the gate just in the nick of time.

Okay, I exaggerate on that "just in time."  I realize that those cows probably wouldn't have hurt us.  I also realize that I'm not willing to find out whether they would or not when the safety of my four children is concerned.  You just never know.


Lessons learned:

>>>Hysteria is usually hilarious after the fact...but certainly not in the moment.
>>>Don't lock eyes with a cow.  They get in your head, man.
>>>Be realistic when determining which child the cow wants to eat.  What was I thinking?...that first born of mine has no meat on her.   He was really going for the chubby little guy.
>>>Don't ever listen to your husband's "bright ideas" on days eggs can fry on the driveway.  Unless of course you're up for making funny memories and having a wonderful experience with your family.

Then by all means...go right ahead.



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3 comments:

  1. BEST RECAP EVER! Love the thoughts on locking eyes with the cows and the hysteria (as well as the thought of bringing 4 kids fishing.) Don;t you love doing activities that sounds good on paper but not so much for real?! You seem like a fun mama:)

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  2. ooh my gosh! This made me laugh... hahaha outloud... while I was sitting in the airport!! I can totally see myself reacting the exact same way and my husband rolling his eyes at me the entire time. I love it!

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